I May Be Old, But I'm Not Rusty
by AlexisAffectsYou
Summary: Two of the most unlikely Inuyasha characters have a chance encounter and spend the night together. You may follow Kaede and Totosai through their night together. Oneshot. Enjoy.
A/N: This is my first attempt at a oneshot! I hope you all enjoy!

I do not own Inuyasha or any of its characters.

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I was gathering herbs in the forest outside of my village on a lovely spring afternoon. Although I am in pretty decent shape for an elder priestess, the bones of my old back were beginning to give out, and my knees had been in pain for some time. I decided that the fruits of today's labor were sufficient; my basket was full so I tried to stand up from the ground for the last time so I could continue back to my hut. However, before I was able to make a move, I overheard a voice from the road through the bushes.

"That fool Inuyasha better be in the village like he said so I can examine the Tetsaiga. If he brings that damn sword back in pieces again I won't be—"

"Can I help ye?" I suspiciously asked the old man riding an ox with three eyes as I stepped into the road.

"Hm? Oh, yes. I am Totosai. I am here to meet Inuyasha. Do you know where I can find him?"

I hesitated, then replied, "Ye must be the blacksmith of the Tetsaiga, yes?"

"That I am, and to whom am I speaking?" Totosai asked, sounding somewhat condescending.

"I am Kaede, the priestess of this village. Inuyasha has spoken of ye before. Unfortunately, he is away with Kagome and the others retrieving a shard of the Shikon jewel."

Totosai began grumbling about how irresponsible Inuyasha was in comparison to his late father. "He is such a disappointment. 'Totosai, help me with Tetsaiga,' 'Totosai, examine Tetsaiga for me,' 'Totosai, put the Tetsaiga back together for me!' I go out of my way to help this idiot out of respect for Inu no Taisho and where is he? Off fighting demons with the same sword he wants me to examine. How does he expect me to examine anything when he isn't even—"

"Totosai, if ye are here to meet Inuyasha, he should be back sometime in the early morning," I said in an effort to calm the old man before he fell off his demonic pet and broke his hip.

"Yes, thank you. I will return tomorrow, then. Let's go, Mo-Mo." Totosai responded. His ox began to turn away until I stopped him.

"I am sure, if ye would prefer not to make such a long trip twice, that ye could find a spot to sleep here tonight instead." I was unsure of who would agree to housing a demonic blacksmith, but I decided on a whim that if all else fails, Totosai would be alright sleeping in my hut for the night.

"Really? Ah, I mean, that is not necessary. I will find a spot somewhere in the nearby forest to make camp until morning." Totosai insisted. I was only thinking of his old age—as I would not wish to sleep on the ground at my age. However, if that is his wish…

"As you wish, Totosai. Best of luck with Inuyasha tomorrow."

"Of course. I am most appreciative." Totosai responded. Mo-Mo turned and began shambling away. I continued on my way into town and began sorting my herbs into their proper places once I returned to my hut.

My afternoon continued as usual, and as late evening arrived I began to feel hunger in my stomach. I stepped out of my hut to retrieve some water from the river to make my supper. Whenever I stepped out into the evening, I noticed that the air was thick with the smell of spring rain, and that some clouds were rolling in from the west. I hurriedly made my way to the river and began filling my gourde with water. Several yards away, across the river, I heard a familiar voice exclaim.

"Ah! Mo-Mo! What is wrong with you?"

I laughed as I watched Totosai emerge from the bushes limping with his face as red as the Cloak of the Fire Rat that Inuyasha wears. Totosai froze when he heard my laughter, and then looked at me.

"What are you looking at, old Priestess?" I ceased laughing and looked at the old man sharply.

"Just an old demon making a fool of himself." I snapped back at him.

"Well it is not every day that a demonic ox stomps on your foot!" Totosai exclaims, glaring at Mo-Mo.

"Well, he is probably just nervous sensing the rain on its way," I suggested smartly.

"Rain?" Totosai glanced at the sky, which was becoming darker each minute from the clouds blowing in from the west. "I suppose you are correct. Mo-Mo, are you afraid of a little rain?" The ox looked blankly at his master, still shuffling his enormous hoofs nervously.

"If ye would like, Mo-Mo may stay in the stables in the village tonight." Totosai shook his head at my suggestion.

"No, no. That will not do. Mo-Mo stays with me when we travel."

"Well, I have already welcomed ye to stay in the village tonight as well. However, if ye would prefer to have both of those feet swollen by morning then so be it. Have a good night—"

"Now that you mention it, it could not hurt to stay in a hut tonight," Totosai hesitantly said.

I glanced up at the sky before responding, and realized that it would certainly begin raining soon. "Very well. Follow me to the stables and then ye can have a cot in my hut." Totosai nodded in agreement and hurriedly climbed onto Mo-Mo's back. The three of us slowly made our way to the stables, and as Totosai made Mo-Mo comfortable, I began to hear the first tap-tap of the rain outside.

"Make haste, Totosai. I am not one to be caught in the rain without good reason." I turned and began walking towards my hut, and Totosai followed quickly behind. As we entered, I began boiling my water from the river to make some soup. I tossed a few tasteful herbs into the water before showing Totosai his cot. While I added some potato and meat into the soup, Totosai and I made small talk, which continued into our meal.

"You must be very respected by your people for them to allow you to house demons, or even half-demons such as myself and Inuyasha."

"My people trust my decisions, and they have come to realize that they are safe from Inuyasha, at least as long as Kagome is around. I believe that Inuyasha has truly been touched by Kagome's presence, and I can only hope the light she has provided him with goes deeper than the touch of my sister, Kikyo. What of ye? How did ye become the blacksmith of such powerful weapons such as the Tetsaiga?"

"That is of little importance. In short, Inu no Taisho, Inuyasha's father, commissioned me to create his swords." Totosai said shortly, and pulled a small bottle out of his jacket. I tensed, unsure of what he was holding. However, the tension was unnecessary as Totosai took a long drink before offering the bottle to me. "Would you like some sake?"

I shook my head. Totosai snorted and took another swig. "You know, it is not healthy to be uptight all the time. It is okay to let loose every now and then, even for a priestess. A few sips of sake never hurt anyone."

I shook my head at the thought. There were far too many people depending on me to keep my head for me to 'let loose,' as Totosai called it. Totosai continued, "You really take your job seriously don't you? I assure you, the amount in this flask is not enough to get anyone drunk, even if they drink it all themselves. Taking a few sips could simply help you relax, nothing more."

After giving it some thought, I decided it could not hurt to have a few drinks after all. I have not truly had time to relax in many years. I had tried sake before and had not experienced any negative effects, so I confidently took the flask and took a swig. I coughed at the burn in my throat but it reminded me of days when I was not so heavily burdened with responsibility, and I smiled. Together, Totosai and I finished the flask and I began to feel more and more relaxed and genuinely happy. My head was fuzzy, and I was surprised at the feeling. I felt like I was floating, but also as if I was very heavy. When I tried to speak, my words were slurred. "That sake tastes like…freedom." I giggled at my analogy. "Am I drunk? I thought that ye said that I could not get drunk off of that amount of sake?" I felt as though I should be irritated, but I simply could not muster the anger.

Totosai laughed at me. "Kaede, I do believe you are slightly drunk. I did not realize that someone could be so light in the head off of less than half a flask of sake. However, it is amusing." I started laughing with Totosai and we continued drunkenly talking. It was late into the night, but for the first time in years, I was feeling the freedom of youth and felt no need to sleep. _Who would have ever thought I would find this feeling with a demon, of all things?_ My drunken mind could not reason, so I simply decided to go along with it and allowed that lighthearted feeling to overwhelm me.

"Totosai, I have a magnificent idea!" Totosai waited for me to continue. "Kagome was telling me of a game that her friends play in her era, and it just sounds simply fantastic. She called it 'Truth or Dare.' Ye must choose one or the other; if ye say 'truth' then I must ask ye a question and ye have to answer honestly, but if ye say 'dare,' then I have to tell ye to do something that ye must do!" Totosai looked unconvinced, but I was excited at the thought. "I'll start! Truth or dare, Totosai?"

Totosai was obviously skeptical, but decided to humor me. "Truth, I suppose."

I thought for a moment, and then asked, "Why did ye commission Inuyasha's sword?"

"Inu no Taisho was a powerful demon, but I saw soon after meeting him that he was compassionate for all living things, and that his intentions for each sword was not malevolent. I believed that I could trust him to use them wisely, and that he did."

"That's interesting! Your turn!"

"Ah, okay. Truth or dare?" He asked uncertainly.

"Truth!"

Totosai got a malicious grin on his face, although I was far too intoxicated to notice. "Have you ever spent the night with another man?"

I giggled at the thought. "Not unless you count children sleeping here, nothing perverted of course. Kikyo died when I was young and I never had the chance to look for a love interest. I have always been so busy with being a priestess." Totosai smirked. "Oh! My turn again. Truth or dare?"

"Dare."

"Hmm. Okay! I dare you to show me your fire-breathing technique!"

Totosai nodded in agreement, and took a deep breath before puffing out his cheeks and blowing a burst of flame onto the fire. I had seen many great powers in my time, and although I knew it made little sense, I was delighted. I clapped my hands like a child and grinned. "Your turn now!"

"Okay, truth or dare, Kaede?"

"Dare!"

"As you wish. I dare you to come closer and share your first kiss with me."

My eyes widened at the prospect. I had never shared a kiss with any man, and even in my drunken state I wondered if I could commit such an act. Totosai watched me, an obvious challenge in his eyes. _Well, he did dare me,_ my drunken mind reasoned. _I suppose that I must._ I sat closer to Totosai and hesitantly looked into his very large and beady eyes. His small pupils betrayed no emotion as he continued staring at me, waiting on me to kiss him. I slowly leaned forward, staring at his lips that seemed to constantly be scowling. I innocently pressed my lips against his, intending to pull away quickly. Totosai, however, was having none of that. Once I pressed my lips to his, he pressed his rather bony fingers into the back of my neck, and used his tongue to pry my lips apart. The feeling was foreign to me, but I felt a tightening in my stomach and in response began to press closer to Totosai's body. I shyly pushed my own tongue into his mouth, and felt his fang press sharply against my tongue. I pulled away in pain, and hesitantly glanced back at Totosai.

"Your turn?" I said, not knowing what else to say, my drunken mind filled with confusing and conflicting thoughts.

"I am done with these childish games, Kaede. I want to know you as a woman." He reached out and grabbed the lapels of my jacket, and I was surprised to which he met no resistance. I glanced down, and realized that in the midst of our kiss, he must have untied the cords holding my jacket together. My jacket fell apart and my large breasts spilled out, bared to Totosai's eager eyes. If possible, Totosai's eyes widened more than usual, and took each of my breasts in one of his hands, squeezing firmly. I had never experienced such pleasure, and gasped at the touch. "Your breasts are magnificent, Kaede." Had I been sober, I would have been embarrassed at how my breasts sagged from the age and weight they held; however, in my drunken state, I was able to enjoy this experience immensely.

Totosai proceeded to remove his own jacket, exposing the flesh of his chest and torso. Although Totosai was much smaller in stature, he seemed confident that he could handle anything I threw at him, and I was surprised to recognize how aroused I was at the thought. Totosai proudly removed his hakama, baring the rest of his body to me. His erect penis was…honestly one of the strangest and ugliest members I had ever seen. _Is this what all penises look like?_ I wondered. It was long, at least seven inches, and maybe two inches wide. At the base of his penis grew gray hairs, long enough that I would guess they cover at least another inch of his long penis. The wrinkly balls were sagging below his member. They looked to be about a handful, with graying hairs covering them thinly. I shyly looked at Totosai as he grabbed my hand and wrapped it around him, showing me a motion that he enjoyed. He began grunting with pleasure as he untied my hakama and dropped it to the floor, exposing my buttocks, among other parts of me never before revealed to a man.

Totosai groaned. I was unsure if I had done something wrong, so I stopped and looked at him hesitantly. "You are exquisite, Kaede. I cannot wait to take you. I have never had so much woman before." I smiled at the compliment but had no idea how to respond to such a comment. We laid onto his cot together and Totosai took one of my nipples into his mouth as he began touching the most sacred parts of my body. When he stopped, I moaned in displeasure. I was confused when he put his fingers into his mouth, but then when he easily slid his fingers into my folds I understood; the lubrication helped him to slide into my vagina with ease. I moaned at the new sensation, for the first time experiencing one of the most wonderful feelings in the world. Totosai stopped the movements of his fingers, then spit on the top of my vagina before spreading it around for more lubrication. He pressed his large member against the opening of my vagina, and then stopped. "This will hurt, Kaede. I have done my best to prepare you, but I can wait no longer. Are you ready?"

"Yes, I am. Please deflower me, Totosai. I am so aroused. I need you to do this."

Totosai slowly pressed his large penis into my vagina and stopped when he found my barrier. He shallowly thrusted a few times before quickly pushing past the barrier, and sheathing himself deep within my body. I gasped in pain, but the feeling of pleasure rivaled it. As Totosai began moving in and out of me, I began to moan with pleasure and call his name as he penetrated me deeply. A tension was building up in my stomach, causing me to shiver and tighten my muscles. As waves of pleasure rocked through my body, I realized I was having my first orgasm due to Totosai's powerful thrusts. As my orgasm subsided, Totosai pulled out of me. _Is it over? Shouldn't he orgasm as well?_ I wondered. I did not voice my concern at the risk of sounding naïve, but Totosai answered me without any prompting.

"Please, Kaede, mount me and show me what you can do." I was unsure but climbed on top of Totosai's body, and slowly slid down on his large penis. He groaned as I did so. "Oh, yes, Kaede. Your untouched vagina is so tight!" I smiled at his encouraging words, and began rocking on top of him. My large breasts were swinging in his face, occasionally hitting his cheek. He caught one of my nipples in his mouth and sucked while I rode him. He began to press those bony fingers into my buttocks, holding me tightly as he began to grunt louder and louder. I felt my own orgasm building a second time, motivating me to rock as quick as my old body would allow. At the same time that my body lost control, I felt Totosai's orgasm release as he ejected his sperm deep into my vagina. With several grunts from both of us, we rode out both of our orgasms before falling, exhausted, to the cot.

My mind had sobered up quite a bit after two orgasms, and I laid in shock processing what we had done. I then noticed that the rain had stopped, and the sky was beginning to lighten outside: it was almost dawn. I looked at Totosai, who, after catching his breath, was beginning to dress. I knew that it was probably smart, but I also felt the need to bathe after such a wild night. Totosai glanced at me as he finished dressing.

"Thank you for allowing me to stay the night, Kaede." I stared in disbelief at he walked out nonchalantly, headed to the stables. I stood up to dress before heading to the river, and Totosai's sperm began trickling between my thighs. It was strangely warm, and I wondered if this was a side-effect of his demonic fire-power, or if it was normal. For the first time, the thought crossed my mind that it is a good thing that I am much too old to bear children, as I surely would have become the mother to a half-demon child if I had been younger. I said a quick prayer, then dressed before going to bathe.


End file.
